Fade Away
by ShinigamiMailJeevas
Summary: Matt had never expected Mello to ask him, eyes covered by his hair, to come with him. To leave Wammys; as L was dead and the succession given to Near. Written for DeviantArt's MattxMello-Fanclub song contest. Complete.


**Disclaimer:** I do not own death note

**AN: **written for MattxMello-Fanclub (on DeviantArt) song contest.

The darn challenge was nagging at my brain and I couldn't help but listen to a new song I found (that reminded me so much of them.... and probably what we all hoped would happen) that I had to just put it on repeat and write.

The song I chose was Smoke & Mirrors from Lifehouse. Don't we all wish it had ended this way?

~Fade Away~

Matt had never expected Mello to ask him, eyes covered by his hair, to come with him. To leave Wammys; as L was dead and the succession given to Near. He hadn't given another it another thought as he took Mello's face in his hands and smiled widely at his friend.

He had never thought they would part, and was happy to find that Mello had hoped they wouldn't either. Mello had _asked_ him. And Matt could never say no when the blonde asked.

It was hard, leaving the only place they had called home for such a long time, and the road even harder, but Matt thought it was worth it; Mello's hand in his own as they swayed like crazed shadows on a hot summer day. They were tired and achy, but they were in high spirits.

And even though it took them months to get out of England, surviving on his hacking skills alone, they had made it. Made it to the states where the mafia had found Mello. And Mello had been intrigued with them. Had known he could _use _them, should he calculate things correctly.

Matt had been naive in thinking that the blonde had given up on avenging L, on slamming Near into the ground where Mello thought he belonged. Matt had been naive in thinking that curling up next to each other at night would be enough for Mello.

Those had been the nights where they had lived in the big city, Los Angelus, in a ratty apartment with no heat, and little furniture, and had nothing but each others company. But they had been smiling. And Matt had thought that they really had a chance to live, even with Kira's influence spreading.

His hope had faded fast as he saw less and less of Mello, and instead more and more furniture and appliances and video games and computers. Mello was soaring high and higher in the mafia, becoming immersed in the life that Matt supposed, suited the blondes aggression in a way. Mello gave up his long-sleeved shirts and baggy pants for sleek form hugging black leather and eye catching accessories.

Chains and silver and crosses and rosary beads filled his attire. The longer he spent away from their apartment the more stuff that accumulated. The more new games Matt had to play... and the more he longed for the empty space that used to clutter the now silent apartment.

He wanted what he couldn't have, and it ate him up that he couldn't stop Mello from destroying himself in his quest. The apartment was always silent, save for the clicks and beeps of his games, and his coughs as the smoke ate away at his body.

They were together still, in a way, and yet Matt never felt so alone.

And when Mello finally got so close, after years of trying, to Kira's power he stopped coming home. Only called to give orders and tasks, and Matt had to wonder how things had fallen so far so fast. Had to wonder when he had stopped trying to fix things.

He had wanted Mello happy, that was all. And Mello was happy, in his own way, but Matt wished it could have been something else that made him happy. All the things, possessions, they had, held little meaning to him when there was no one there to share it with him. He would give it all back just for those times at Wammys or the underneath of that bridge in England.

And despite that, neither of them had changed all that much. Mello still ate his chocolate like an addict, Matt still played his games. Mello was still quick to anger, though he used a gun instead of fists now, and Matt was still laid back and eager to help Mello, too much so that he often did things against his better judgment.

Like wiring the building Mello was in with bombs and giving Mello the damn trigger.

And as the cameras in the building recorded a loud 'boom' and an orange flash before cutting out, Matt couldn't help but drop his cigarette and run from the apartment, almost forgetting his keys in his hurry.

He sped to the scene of the destruction, calling Mello again and again until his cell phones battery died; he sucked in a breath and evaded the police and firefighters and parked in the back. He coughed, something disgusting and foul tasting reaching his tongue, and covered his mouth with his sleeve.

Mello was in there.

He stumbled, blind despite his goggles, and knew there was no way Mello could have survived. And the half charred body, crumpled motionless beside support beams and concrete attested to it. With shaking hands he touched the unblemished side of Mello's neck and jerked backwards at the faint pulse.

Somehow, probably by the grace of God alone, Mello was alive. And Matt wasted no time in hauling the blonde into his arms, smelling ash, burnt skin and blood in one inhale, and trembling with effort not to run back to the car. Not to run through that smoldering wreck of a hideout.

Mello was an absolute mess, bleeding everywhere, pieces of flesh curled and sloughing off in strips, hair and plastic melted to his face, leather and shrapnel embedded in his body... but Matt knew he would survive, if only because he had survived the blast first.

Mello had done the hard part, and Matt knew it was up to him to make sure Mello made it to the home stretch and to recovery.

It hadn't been easy, the rolls and rolls of bandages, stolen medications, boxes of creams and ointments and screams of pain making it worse, but Mello had survived. It would take a long time to heal, but he was alive.

And even more obsessed over getting Kira and beating Near than before. He was two days away from going to retrieve his picture from Near and was still covered in bandages and could hardly walk properly without pain meds in his system.

He nodded to Mello at the appropriate places, not really caring what Mello was up to, as it would be harsh on the blonde's abused body either way, but he couldn't help but lose it when Mello snarled at him, wanting to know why he didn't care about catching Kira, or avenging L, why he didn't want to fight for something _more_.

"You're all I have in this world damn it, all I care about, that's why I don't give a damn about what happens to Kira!" he snapped at the blonde. His cigarette was practically crushed in-between his teeth, chest heaving as his fist planted into the wall in such a Mello-like statement that everything seemed to pause in time.

Mello's mouth hung open slightly, silently, and he seemed at a loss for words for once. "Do whatever you want Mello, I'll still follow you." he added dejectedly, after another few minutes of pure silence. The race to Kira was going to kill them, and Matt wasn't so sure it wouldn't be a mercy at the moment; their relationship was pulling apart at the seams and Mello didn't seem to give a damn.

Maybe he never had.

"Matt..." Mello whispered, but he had heard him. Matt turned, his eyes sliding from the clenched fingers to the slightly erratic chest movements, across the bandages and finally to Mello's face, hidden by his singed and hastily cut hair.

He looked so damn defeated that Matt couldn't help but resent himself for speaking his mind for once. For not simply taking Mello's angered words...

He took a step back before turning and kneeling on the bed. He cupped Mello's face in his hands and pressed their foreheads together. Mello's sucked in a breath and leaned into him, slightly, but it was all Matt needed to pull Mello into his arms, careful of the burns.

And in the morning, Mello was gone and all Matt could do was punch his pillow and light up a cigarette. He lit one cigarette after the next, ignoring hacking coughs it caused; if Mello was so damn eager to meet his grave then Matt didn't care one way or the other either.

He frowned sullenly at the phone as it rang, hours later, knowing that only Mello had the number. "Matt... come get me?" Mello's voice was weak and Matt was instantly on alert. What had Mello gotten into this time? He shouldn't have even been out of bed, no matter how strong he could appear to be.

But no matter how angry Matt was at the blonde, he would never leave him on his own, not in the state he was in. He was slightly taken aback however, at the tiny smile he was rewarded with as he drove up to Mello's form; which was slumped against his motorcycle, too weak to continue.

"I got my picture back." he mumbled into Matt's arms as he was picked up from the asphalt. Mello was too damn light for his height and Matt knew he hadn't been eating all that much, knew Mello had gotten himself too worked up to do much of anything other than think and eat chocolate.

"Matt..." he blonde whispered, fingers latching onto his vest harshly. "You're all I have too... I'm through...with Kira..."

He looked down at Mello abruptly at the soft words. Mello's blue eyes hesitantly locked onto his own, weary and uncertain; his frown crinkling the healing tissue of his face painfully. Mello was through? Had he really.....?

He searched Mello's face for any sign of lies but found none. He laughed slightly, startling the blonde in his arms. "Thank you." he murmured against the blonde's lips and watched as Mello leaned up to meet him. The kiss was short, nothing more than a single meeting of their lips, but to Matt, it meant everything.

"I could have gone to get your picture for you." he commented as he placed the blonde into the passenger seat. Mello's lips quirked into something resembling a smile but he simply closed his eyes and shook his head.

Matt drove them back to the apartment, where he packed a bag for each of them, taking only what was needed, and a few extras like computer equipment and chocolate, before tossing everything into the backseat.

"Where do you want to go?" he questioned as he closed the driver's side door.

"I don't care.... as long as it has chocolate."

Matt laughed at Mello, running a finger across his undamaged cheek, before revving the engine and pealing away from the apartment.

And Matt was happy no matter what, no matter where they ended up, because of the promise of what was to come. Because things were finally clearing up in their lives.

Mello was tired, exhausted, and so emotionally drained, that he was practically dead to the world as his head rested against the cool surface of the window. But he was peaceful, for once in such a long time.

They were free, disappearing into simple memory, finally.

Matt popped a piece of gum into his mouth and opened his window, feeling the soothing wind rip through his hair. There was silence, but for once, it was wonderful.

-end-

AN: So how was it?

review?


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